


Paved with Good Intentions

by SidingWithTheAngels (siding_with_the_angels)



Series: The Devil's Carnival [1]
Category: Supernatural, The Devil's Carnival (2012)
Genre: Brotp, Gen, Kid Castiel, Teen Angst, Teenager Cas, slight self injury
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-11 01:38:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1167069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siding_with_the_angels/pseuds/SidingWithTheAngels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone has their stories correct? Even the Devil has an amazing tale to his fall. </p><p>Backgrounds of carnies and various other characters in The Devil's Carnival Series.<br/>____________</p><p>Warning: All tags and characters might not be in each chapter. These chapters constantly switch main character, time frame and placing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Morning Star's Fall

**Author's Note:**

> beta'd by [twinkletoedean](http://twinkletoedean.tumblr.com/) who has helped me so much and I really don't think you guys understand how much I truly appreciate her. Go touch her tumblr, love it.

Heaven was never as impressive as people made it out to be on Earth. But Lucifer was content, he had his brothers and sisters and his father. He was loved by all angels, revered by some, and loved by his father. What more could an angel want?

Lucifer’s fall was a simple one; he didn’t trust humans. He didn’t fall upon his knees when they were created. When God removed the velvet curtain to reveal them, he was horrified. Earth was to be under the control of these abortions? They were flawed, they were dirty, and fumbling, and they were destructive. One human could sneeze and kill an entire pack of humans. How could he even consider bowing to them?

But he watched his siblings fall one by one onto their knees and praise these creatures. One of the first was Castiel, little Castiel who had just learned to fly. He was under the tutorage of Raphael but everyone knew Lucifer was his favorite brother. After all, it was Lucifer who calmed Castiel’s nightmares, Lucifer who healed the angel’s torn knees when he fell over the rocks, Lucifer who shared stories of brave angels and distant worlds.

It broke his heart to watch Castiel so selflessly give himself to these babbling, hairless apes. It was then, watching his other siblings, Gabriel, Anael, Uriel, Balthazar, and _Michael_ all kneel to these humans, that Lucifer hatched a plan, a plan that would forever change humanity and Heaven.

For his own credit Lucifer was a good solider, but he was better at sabotage and that’s how he planned it.

Sneaking into the garden and tricking Eve was not as hard as he expected, after all the two angels who guarded the garden (Gadreel and Abner) often took breaks to smoke, and all Lucifer had to do was walk in while their backs were turned. Eve herself was stubborn, but with a few choice words, she fell to his temptation and took the fruit.

After causing the damnation of the human race, Lucifer knew he had to convince the other angels that these creatures weren’t as precious as their loving Father promised.

This is where Lucifer ran into a road block. Gabriel, his understudy, was supposed to be easy to convince. And while Gabriel was on the fence about humans, he would never blaspheme against them.

Lucifer’s next turn was to Balthazar, who was witty and quick as a rapier. Balthazar never said it outright; as a matter of fact, he seemed excited for the humans to mess up, stating that “They’d be a bloody party, Luci!” But Lucifer did convince Balthazar to hide some desirables during the war that was inevitable, because it was, and Lucifer never did anything half-assed.

After Balthazar, Lucifer considered asking Michael, seeing as they were the closest of all. Lucifer loved Michael nearly as much as God, but he was blind angel, strong in every subject but his own free will. So after much consideration, Lucifer decided against asking Michael; he would ever see these abortions the way Lucifer did.

After convincing several minor angels (just numbers to add to his ranks) Lucifer made the jump; he went to Castiel, little, sweet Castiel.

When Lucifer found the boy-angel he was sitting on the edge, watching the humans with glossy blue eyes, his excitement palpable. Upon noticing Lucifer, Castiel turned his gaze onto his older brother and exclaimed, “They are so cle’er Luci!” Castiel would never admit this to anyone, ever, but Lucifer remembers a time when Castiel had a problem pronouncing his ‘v’s and ‘h’s.

Sitting down next to the little angel they intertwined fingers, partially to make sure Castiel didn’t fall, and partially because Lucifer loved physical contact. Whether holding hands, hugging or just playing patty cake (though Lucifer will never admit to playing these “stupid” games with tiny Castiel), it didn’t matter; he enjoyed the connection it brought.

They rested on the edge of Heaven for hours, Castiel babbling about the bees, in what would later be North America, with Lucifer saying little in edge wise.

It was when Castiel asked about the great creatures of old that Lucifer had to explain what exactly happened.

"Luci?"

"Yes, Castiel?"

"Why are all the big om noms gone?"

With a pause, Lucifer realized this was his in, his in into the previously innocent brain of Castiel, “They had to leave.”

"Why?" Castiel was pouting at this point; Lucifer knew Castiel enjoyed the dinosaurs more than other angels and that his favorites were the flying ones. Castiel had told Lucifer many, many, _many_ times about how he wanted to fly with them. Too bad he never got the chance.

"Because of the humans, Castiel."

A crease formed on the pudgy forehead of Castiel as he turned his full attention to Lucifer, sitting cross legged in front of him. “What did they do, Luci?”

For the first time in Heaven, an angel lied.

In all fairness, Lucifer’s tale wasn’t exactly a lie, just a bit embellished. He talked about God having to kill all the dinosaurs to make way for his favorite creatures, these humans who could not fly (a very big selling point for Castiel); he talked about how these very docile creatures had to be killed by their creator and not the humans, because the humans would be cruel in their killings, unknowing of a quick death.

As Lucifer talked, as he spun his mistruths, he watched Castiel become more and more angered like the child he was. He was only a child, yet Lucifer had turned him against his own kind, against his own creator, and it was something Lucifer would never forgive himself for. He was a greedy angel, he was aware of this even back then. But the true power of his greed would not be realized until centuries later, when Castiel lost this childish spark, and took on a gruesome violence.

But that was not for centuries to come, and Lucifer was unaware of what devastation he was to cause. So he continued to convince the boy-angel that humans were not right for the earth.

"But Luci?" Asked Castiel as he climbed into Lucifer’s lap, his favorite napping spot.

"Yes, Castiel?"

“‘ow do we ‘elp the humans not hurt things?”

"I have no idea, but we can help them." It was a lie at the time, but to credit the source, it was Castiel that gave Lucifer the idea of forming Hell into a place that helps and damns the sinful, even if Castiel was too little to realize it.

* * *

It wasn’t long before God knew what Lucifer did in the garden, before Michael came to give Lucifer his warning. Of course it was Michael who demanded Lucifer to knee to the humans, to love them as much as Lucifer loved his family, his father. But it was impossible for Lucifer, he couldn’t understand what made these humans so great, and when he tried to explain it to his eldest brother Michael laughed in his face. “Father created them and asked us to love them like we love him. How hard is that to understand?”

That moment, that embarrassing, heart-breaking moment, is what caused the war. Lucifer stood up for himself; he refused to bow and the first angel war broke out.

Lucifer’s numbers were small in comparison to Michael’s, but Lucifer was tricky.

Balthazar came through, as promised, faked his own death and fled with any holy item he could grab. He would wait on earth for the storm to calm down before offering them to Lucifer several years after the war ended.

Fighting Michael on the battle field was difficult for Lucifer; he loved his brother too much to truly hurt him, to deliver a killing blow. It was this love, this devotion that caused Lucifer’s ultimate fall.

Michael was fast on his feet, kicking Lucifer over and ready to stab him through the very grace he had watched being formed. God stayed silent, watching as his second angel, the Archangel Lucifer, was to be killed. It wasn’t God, nor was it Michael who saved Lucifer, but the small baby-angel, Castiel.

Castiel had been left in the care of Joshua, the gardener angel, along with the other younger angels. Before the battle Lucifer had given a direct order to Castiel to hide away, to leave with Balthazar and join Lucifer later. When Balthazar came to take Castiel away, Castiel had refused with a little tantrum, crying about how he couldn’t leave Lucifer by himself. Balthazar, currently hiding some of Heaven’s most precious objects on his body, had no other choice but to leave before he attracted too much attention.

This is how Castiel stayed in Heaven, up until Lucifer’s near death blow. As soon as Michael raised his sword above his head, ready to strike down Lucifer, a dark feathered boy-angel torpedoed himself at the archangel, knocking the sword out of his hand and allowing Lucifer just enough time to stand up, holding the tiny Castiel in his arms protectively.

As Michael took up his sword once more God spoke, telling his most devoted son to not kill Castiel and Lucifer, but instead, simply cast them out.

With one final look Michael did just that. The last thing Lucifer remembers of Heaven is his brother’s face contorted in disgust, and Castiel’s wailing.

Then black.

Then Hell.

Lucifer made Hell. He made everything brick by brick, nail by nail, stone by stone. As the human’s advanced, so did Hell. But the meaning of Hell didn’t change, with every piece of masonry work Lucifer placed, Castiel’s childish words spoke to him, “How do we help the humans not hurt things?”

* * *

As the years passed and Castiel grew older, cracks appearing on his skin as an after effect of the fall, Hell’s meaning was twisted.

It contorted it’s self into a new beast, a beast of hate, and not of helpfulness as it was before. Where Lucifer’s end goal had originally been to help the humans for Castiel’s sake, he started instead to take out his scorn on them. He tortured them, and he turned them into twisted creatures, demons, as he would name them later.

Cain was the first human to turn into something different, not exactly a demon, but not exactly a human either. It was Cain who was the original carnie.

Renaming Cain into The Tamer, Lucifer realized something; this could turn out to be quite a lot of fun.


	2. Cutting Cage Bars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel was a child-angel when he first walked into Hell and just like every child he grows up.

Castiel remembers very little about Heaven. He remembers some things, like when he was first introduced to humanity, when he had to bow. He remembers when Raphael showed him the fish who would later become these humans.

He remembers watching the dinosaurs with Lucifer, while Lucifer told him great tales about them.

He remembers playing hide-and-seek with Uriel, Anael, and Balthazar. He remembers scraping his knee and Lucifer coming to his aid with Gabriel. He remembers the stories Lucifer used to make up when Castiel had nightmares. 

He remembers being so terrified once that he blocked the memory out. 

He remembers all of this, but little else. He barely remembers anyone’s face besides Lucifer’s, and now he’s older, about the same age Balthazar was when the war started, and he hates the world. 

He hates everything. He hates his mirror so he breaks it, he hates his stupid bed, so he throws it out of his tent; he hates his face so he tries to rip it away. He hates the black cracks that show over his complexion, reminding him of his fall constantly. It’s when he breaks down into broken sobs that Lucifer comes over and wraps him in his arms.

Castiel remembers when he was a child-angel that Lucifer would sometimes wrap his six gigantic wings around him, and Castiel would feel safe, warm, and happy. Castiel hasn’t seen Lucifer’s wings since the fall, and it worries him sometimes.

Castiel still has his wings, but they are useless, just heavy feathered appendages that remind him constantly he cannot fly, not like he once did. 

But all this matters not, not when tears stain his face and Lucifer croons to him, rocking the smaller, adolescent angel in his arms like he’s the baby he once was. Castiel allows it to happen; he does it for both their sanity.

He blames Lucifer sometimes, he hates him, and throws shit at him, but Lucifer just brushes it off and waits for Castiel to calm down, which he always does. It’s then that Castiel hates himself, because he was the one that believed Lucifer.

It’s only when Castiel voices these opinions that Lucifer gets truly mad. Objects around them start to fall, lights break from too much energy coursing through them, the ground shakes, and Castiel is for the first time terrified of the fallen archangel. 

Lucifer spits out profanities as he stalks towards Castiel, screaming that it is never Castiel’s fault, it never will be. He grabs Castiel hard, leaving some bruises that stay for years afterwards, but Castiel cannot feel them, not with his elder brother’s eyes shining this bright with rage and pain.

"Hate  _me_.” He growls shaking Castiel, “Hate me with  _everything_  you have ever felt, but do not hate yourself Castiel!” His voice has risen, his angelic power, something Castiel hasn’t seen since he was young, shining through. “You are the innocent here! You wear these marks,” He moves his hand up to touch the cracked skin, “Because of  _me,_  not you. You are still are everything you could be. Heaven has let you leave. and has turned a blind eye towards you. This is their sin, my sin for taking you away.” He grabs Castiel’s hands, looking momentarily at the fingers tipped with the red of Castiel’s blood from trying to erase the marks etched into his own skin.

Lucifer’s voice loses its wrath as he speaks next, “But you are still, Castiel. You have not fallen like I have. There is still a chance for you. So just hate me. But not yourself.” 

After that day, Castiel still had breakdowns because of the loneliness, he still was disgusted with himself time to time, but he stopped attacking his skin.

Every time he picked up a scalpel or knife to cut the skin away, he placed it back down. Not because he didn’t hate the cracks, because he did, but because he knew it would hurt Lucifer, that it would do nothing to remove the marks of the fall on his skin in the end. From that day on, Castiel chose to forgive Lucifer. Of course he still was angry, he still screamed some times when he was in pain, but Lucifer accepted it, after all Castiel was just a kid, an angel ripped from Heaven because of his own brother’s greed.

But in the end? Lucifer was the most important family member Castiel has ever had, he understood the anger and pain and let Castiel take it out on him, he treated him with respect instead of a blind follower. Lucifer was the best and the worst brother to have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Lucifer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75403510022/the-devil-finds-work-for-idle-hands-carnie-the)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)] 


	3. Mark of Cain

Life is unfair, that’s the first true lesson Cain learns. He learns this lesson over and over again as his parents complain. They complain over and over again about the Archangel Lucifer, who damned this away from Heaven and purity.

He learns it when his baby brother Abel is born, and Cain automatically gets put on the back burner.

He learns it as his brother gets older, and still nothing Cain does is half as good as Abel.

The sad thing? He loves Abel with every fiber of his being. He treats him with the same sort of pride a father would hold his son at in winning a homecoming game.

Cain loves his brother, and cannot watch him fail. That’s why, when Cain learns that Abel is not talking to God, but in fact a creature of Lucifer’s making, he sees red. He cannot allow his brother to falter on his path, a path without cracks.

Cain calls to this creature, begs him to let him talk to the Devil himself; the creature, a demon in later terms, allows this.

Talking to Lucifer, Cain makes a deal, selling his soul to the Devil in order to save his own precious brother. Lucifer agrees, but with terms attached, with fine print Cain isn’t able to truly understand until later.

Cain kills Abel. It’s a sacrifice he doesn’t want to make, but it is how he can save Abel while damning himself. As the ground turns crimson, Cain hears the true voice of God.

God speaks and marks Cain as a villain, condemning him to Hell. Cain has until his death to walk the world alone, and he accepts this without question, knowing his brother is now safe.

* * *

 Cain lives an unhappy life, he holes himself away from mankind; he pushes anyone and everyone away. He forgets his name and his family. He lives with no hope, and no love, until she appears.

Colette.

Even her name brings hope to Cain when she first tells him. The details in their meeting have been completely erased from the books, from time and memory itself, but Cain cannot, and will not, forget the feeling of falling in love for the first time.

Colette, unlike the rest of humanity, knows Cain for who he is. She knows he is a murderer, a destructive force, but she cannot care. Not with the love he gives her, not when he devotes himself to her utterly and completely.

She only sees the good, and for that Cain makes himself better, letting the deal split from his mind in favor of love.

* * *

But things change; Cain cannot grow old, and because of this they are constantly on the move. It’s the move that kills Colette.

It’s not people, it’s not Cain, it’s the moving.

They’re traveling during a storm, nothing that Cain hasn’t done before, when the loose ground gives way, sending both and the horse plummeting into the waters bellow.

Because of the mark that is etched into his skin Cain survives, but the horse, his belongings, his wife all sink to the bottom of the ocean.

The last thing Cain ever said to his wife was for her to be careful. How ironic.

* * *

Defeated and alone Cain searches out those who are the least holy, asking them to end his life. Some try and only fail, the mark in Cain’s skin growing hot with every attack on his person.

Cain knows what he must do and traveling far and wide he finds a blade, a blade so sharp it can cut a man in two using as little strength as an adolescent child has.

He sets himself up and allows his body to fall on the blade, cutting himself open chin to stomach. As he bleeds, as the darkness covers him like a cool blanket, his last words are for Colette to forgive him, because he cannot be with her.

* * *

 Hell was a different experience for Cain; in this gruesome place he felt many emotions that haunted him his entire life.

Rage. Love. Despair.

He relives his biggest failures over and over again, the killing of his brother, the loss of losing Colette.

It’s repeated over and over until he doesn’t know who he is. Until he has no idea who God or Lucifer is, until he forgets how to write or read, how to laugh or dance, how to cry or scream. He forgets it all, all except loyalty and Colette.

Even the Devil couldn’t make a sinner like Cain forget the only true happiness in his life.

The loyalty however, somehow in the years of Hell, in the mass confusion of reliving his life, he misplaces it in Lucifer. He trusts Lucifer, the very angel who tore his life out from under him before he was even born. But he trusts him, he trusts him because Lucifer never tells Cain that his love for Abel or Colette was misplaced. Lucifer never makes a mockery of his decisions even if they, in the end, ruined him.

So after several years in Hell, Cain loses himself; he becomes a carnie, the very first one, completely dedicated to the creature that damned him here in the first place.

Cain never becomes Cain again; he cannot with all these distorted emotions and memories, so in place of Cain he becomes the Tamer. He becomes the law and order of what must be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[The Tamer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75191339795/empty-shell-animated-corpse-carnie-the)]


	4. Come, Little Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilith's descent into Hell.
> 
> Writen while listening to: [Come, Little Children](http://youtu.be/XfI7gSO-Fgc).

The orphanage was dirty and smelt like urine and excess skin cells; that’s the first memory Lilith remembers when thinking back. She remembers the cruel children that ignored her and called her a freak to her face. She remembers how they would steal the very little possessions she had, and would break them, or keep them for themselves.

Children were and are greedy, and Lilith dealt with it. She dealt with it like any normal kid would, she made an imaginary friend. Someone who would listen and laugh at her jokes, someone who just  _play_  with her. But as the days, weeks, and the months went on, the children stole more and more from her. They even stole her food while she was distracted by other children terrorizing her.

Lilith was so hungry, so very, very hungry. This was when her imaginary friend suggested an alternate route, to eat the paint chips that fell from the walls daily. The other children had eaten them before, Lilith knew this, so why shouldn’t she listen to her only friend?

While the other kids would eat their small bowls of food, Lilith would eat heartily on the colorful paint chips, sometimes mixing them with water from the drain outside to make a soup of sorts. Her imaginary friend praised her for her ingenuity and no one complained about her.

As the weeks went on and Lilith continued to eat the chips, her imaginary friend grew stronger, just like Lilith herself. Her imaginary friend had a name, Lilith, the same as her but Lilith got into the habit of calling her Lady Lilith in her mind, because she was beautiful. She was everything Lilith wanted to be. Lady Lilith had long curly blonde hair like the wheat traded on the streets below the orphanage window, she had a true lady’s figure and a painted smile of the best kind. And while little Lilith was nothing like this, a child of only five with brown hair and dirty skin, she still wanted to be Lady Lilith.

One day, when the children cut Lilith’s brown locks while she slept, the master entered. Horrified by the fact Lilith was so small and frail she made sure Lilith got her daily rations of food. When the master asked Lilith what she had been eating, Lady Lilith stood behind her and told Lilith not to tell the master a single thing, so she didn’t. That was the end of it. Lilith got her normal food but never stopped with the paint chips. Why should she? Lady Lilith told her they made her prettier, and Lady Lilith would never lie.

Years passed, the bullying still continued, but less so after Lady Lilith took care of little Timmy after he took Lilith’s pillow one night. Timmy was still missing, but little Lilith knew Lady Lilith had to take him to a special place, the special place under the orphanage where everything was very curvy and wet with rats, and had a stench so strong little Lilith was never allowed to go down there. The master only looks into it for a day or two before figuring he ran away, and Lilith can’t help giggling with Lady Lilith later that night as they gossip about how stupid Timmy had been.

The children around Lilith ask her who she is talking to sometimes, but Lilith never tells them; she can’t, Lady Lilith told her if she was ever to give away her name she would disappear forever, and what kind of friend would Lilith be if she ratted out Lady Lilith? So she keeps her mouth shut, and says it’s an imaginary friend. But Lilith isn’t so sure after Timmy leaves, maybe Lady Lilith is really getting that strong. If she is, that means Lilith can soon play with the little ball that Timmy had once taken from her, and that’s awesome.

Lilith never stops eating the paint chips, even when she gets sick one winter because of the cold. Lady Lilith takes some blankets from other children and bundles Lilith up. Those children get sick, very sick, but Lady Lilith says they’re just going to go play with Timmy, and, well, they were friends with Timmy anyway so that will be fun right?

When Lilith turns seven, Lady Lilith starts to get weak, even more weaker than when she first came to Lilith. She tells Lilith it’s because she hasn’t been eating as much of the special, magical paint chips as she originally had. Worried for her best friend’s health, Lilith starts to go into the closed off sections of the orphanage, packing the paint chips in small threadbare pieces of cloth that used to be clothing, but were now too worn to wear. She collected many bags of the chips, and would hide from the other kids as she ate them, having a makeshift tea party with Lady Lilith.

These tea parties were fun, of course they didn’t have a true tea set, but the cracked pottery served well enough for the pretend game. The game changed however, as Lady Lilith grew stronger. Soon the broken pottery fixed itself, and became covered in beautiful colorful markings, and the broken kettle Lilith had found in the yard once now is back to its full glory, all shiny and copper. Lady Lilith was the best thing to ever happen to Lilith, and the paint chips were the source of Lady Lilith’s power so Lilith  _had_  to eat them.

Lilith is eight when Lady Lilith becomes the strongest. It is right after Susan throws a rock right at Lilith’s face. Lilith is bleeding everywhere, and Lady Lilith is furious. That night, while the rest of the orphanage is sleeping, Susan dies in her sleep. She apparently slept wrong, breathing in the pillow and not the air. Stupid Susan.

* * *

Lilith is thirteen when the lead paint chips take her life, having poisoned herself throughout the years, no one realizing what she was doing. They dump her body into a wheelbarrow, and take her to the doctor’s school so they can study her unique case. Apparently Lilith never truly progressed past the age of eight, somehow sticking there and never growing out of the age.

Twenty years after her death, the caretaker of the orphanage will find ten bodies of missing children in the tunnels under the orphanage, some with their throats slit, some suffocated, some with broken bones from falling. But all of them are placed in a circle with a bag of marbles in the center.

No one will know who caused the deaths or placed them there, and the only clue will be a long strand of blonde hair. 

* * *

Lilith’s first time in Hell was different from Cain’s, despite the fact that Lilith is the second human carnie to ever be made. She was a child and Lucifer has always had a soft spot for them, so, instead of making her re-live her sins and life over and over again he makes a compromise. Meeting Lilith at the entrance of the carnival he holds out his hand, “Come little one,” He muses as she smiles brightly up at him, “Join your playfellows in the street.” She walks with Lucifer, meeting Doll and Cain with a giant smile on her face. 

Lucifer takes her throughout the carnival, showing her all the toys and the places to play hide ‘n’ seek before taking her to the exit and squatting down in front of her. “Dear child,” He starts as she swings his hand and looks at him. “Would you like to stay?” She smiles brightly as he continues, “Here your best friend can live, and she would never leave your side.” He points to the exit, “There however, she could never go. It is your choice little one, but once you make it, it is final.” 

Now Lucifer might be the Devil, and he might be a fallen archangel, but he could never recreate Lilith’s imaginary friend, not in a true form, but Lilith herself doesn’t seem to mind because she frowns, “Will me and her be together forever?” She asks, looking down at Lucifer’s hand before back up into his eyes, her large doe eyes huge and testing. 

"Yes." Lucifer can promise this, he can make her friend appear to her constantly, it only involves her going through a process of becoming a carnie.

Lilith lights up, and nods, “Ok!” She giggles, and as soon as the words are spoken she turns her head, hearing an all too familiar voice. Lucifer can hear it as well, all souls have some connection with him after signing the invisible contract. Turning he sees nothing, but Lilith does, and she lets go of his hand and runs towards empty space, holding onto thin air as if it was a human, a woman by the looks of it. “I missed you!” Lilith giggles, looking up at the air towards a face that isn’t there. 

"I missed you, too." The voice states and yes, it’s definitely a female that Lilith has made up; not an old woman, but most likely a woman in her late 20s. 

"Can we go play now?" Lilith asks, resting her chin on some invisible force. 

"Of course we can, we can play all the time." The voice states again, and Lucifer watches as Lilith releases the air and takes an unseen hand. He watches as she skips off, still holding the hand and singing happily, "Let’s go play! Let’s go play!" 

Lilith became an official carnie when an attendee told her that her nursery rhymes, and that she shouldn’t be here. Lucifer watched as she became enraged, how her eyes turned to the color they would if she had cataracts, how she stood like a woman and not a child and proceeded to attack, screaming in a much older voice, the same voice Lucifer had once heard before, “You cannot take her from me! She is mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!” The man died, and had to be sent back to the beginning. Needless to say, Lucifer learned that day that even imaginary friends aren’t really imaginary, not in Hell at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[The Fool Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75722469526/imagination-takes-flight-oh-toxic-little-child)] [[Lucifer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75403510022/the-devil-finds-work-for-idle-hands-carnie-the)]
> 
> The Nursery Rhyme Lucifer refers to at one point is '[Girls and Boys Come Out to Play](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Girls_and_Boys_Come_Out_To_Play)'.
> 
> Also, so you are aware Lilith already had mental problems before eating the lead paint by the bucket full, it was just a catalyst for Lady Lilith to 'have her sooner'.


	5. Relics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer and Castiel aren't the only ones that fell from Heaven, well except Balthazar chose this.

Balthazar’s memories of Heaven are mixed. He was old enough to remember the fights, the fun moments, but young enough to be too innocent, to allow the lies of Heaven to cloud his judgment.

One thing Balthazar is proud of is he never really spent time with his brothers Uriel and Zachariah, but instead, spent the majority of his time with Lucifer, Gabriel, and the child Castiel. Balthazar, at first, didn’t understand how Lucifer could be with the child nearly 24/7, but the more time he spent with the little one, the more he realized the light in Castiel. The more time he spent with Castiel, the more he realized how genuinely  _good_  the child was. It was understandable why Lucifer kept him around. He was like the warm belly of a hearth, all bubbly and happy, like a little dancing flame.

Whenever Lucifer was busy, whether with Michael, or even God himself, it was Balthazar’s job to keep the child entertained. Unlike Lucifer, who kept the child-angel entertained by bringing him to Earth, Balthazar would walk him through Heaven, showing him the ancient artifacts and the Garden of Eden. No angel judged Balthazar for taking him these places; as matter of fact, Michael had once commented that ‘at least someone was keeping the child educated.’ Balthazar never told Lucifer that.

As time passed, and God introduced the angels to the humans, things changed. God sent fire down onto the world to lower the numbers of dinosaurs, so that the humans could inhabit the world. Balthazar watched as Lucifer became more and more on edge; he watched as Lucifer stood while all angels kneeled to mankind; he watched as Lucifer grew pale with worry. Balthazar never voiced these things as he was only a child, and Lucifer had lived for many years before him. What Balthazar worried the most about was how Lucifer’s attitude took a toll on his favorite baby-angel. As Lucifer became more and more aggressive, little Castiel started to show signs of his grace fading. Lucifer and Castiel’s grace was intertwined, much like Lucifer’s and Michael’s had been when Michael raised Lucifer. This grace twining, while very good for growth, would stunt the younger if the elder’s grace should falter. As Balthazar looks back at it, it was probably this worry for Castiel that made him pick sides.

It’s a warm day in Heaven, and Balthazar hangs in the shade of a tree, his wings spread around him, when Lucifer walks over with a proposition, a plan to break Heaven. Balthazar isn’t stupid, he knows Lucifer is sugar coating everything for him because of his age, and incapability to truly understand the severity of the events this will cause. That’s why when Lucifer ends his plan, Balthazar stands up, looks the couple feet up to Lucifer’s face and states, “So, you’re telling me that if this goes your way, Castiel’s grace will not be harmed?”

Lucifer bows his head, hiding his eyes away before answering, “I will not lie to you brother, his grace will be damaged.” Balthazar’s chest puffs up to bring the ‘no’ to his lips before Lucifer continues, letting his bright eyes lock with Balthazar’s, “But this damage will be little compared to that if I were to fall without him.”

Balthazar lets the fight leak out of his lungs, and he relaxes, “I see…” He pauses, thinking over his options, thinking over Lucifer’s plan. In all honesty, without Lucifer or Castiel being here, Balthazar would be stuck with the angels that didn’t find him funny, stuck with the family members that scoffed at him. Sure, there was Gabriel, but Balthazar knew him too well, he’d mope around Heaven like some kicked puppy and where was the fun in that? Meanwhile Lucifer offers him a home, a way of existing without the rules of Heaven, a way to go to earth and truly see what these humans were all about. It’s understandable that Balthazar ended up choosing Lucifer over the rest of Heaven; he always did like a little excitement in his life.

* * *

Hiding on Earth wasn’t as hard as Balthazar thought it would be. So long as he hid his powers, so long as he stayed with those without a clear mind, no one noticed how he was different. No one noticed the fact he hoarded his past away from everyone.

He lived years like this, laughing and partying with these loose lipped and loose legged people, and in all honesty, it was  _awesome_. Balthazar didn’t regret a second of it; he liked the human experiences, and, well people liked him around, especially, but not limited to, women. The women did  _love_  him, with his sassy attitude and cheeky talk.

There was one problem; Balthazar hadn’t forgotten Castiel. Late at night, on the nights he slept alone, he would think about the favorite child-angel, and how he was holding up. Balthazar couldn’t feel Castiel, or Lucifer, not like he could feel the others up in Heaven. He cracked it up to them being in Hell, but still… it was unsettling.

It’s when an angel gets too close to Balthazar that he decides to take the plunge. He’s been dead for many years, generations of humans have come and gone, and it must be safe to finally go to Hell unnoticed. So picking up the artifacts he had stolen from Heaven, Balthazar has one more (epic) night on earth before making the trip downstairs.

Getting into Hell is easier than he ever thought. He thought Hell would be rocky, hot and fiery. But in actuality, as Balthazar nears the entrance, he recognizes it as the festivals he would go to on a daily basis.

He walks in without anyone stopping him, he witnesses a man with a sullen face as thee Cain, he sees a little girl playing with a ball and the talking adamantly to the air and makes his way towards the pull. It’s the first thing he notices when he reaches Hell, the power of Lucifer’s grace and… Castiel’s. It’s weaker than when he was a child, covered with cracks and missing sections, but he’s still alive, somewhere in this place.

He finds what he’s looking for shortly after he passes the little girl. He sees the tent with a sign posted outside stating ‘ring leader,’ and well, who else would it be? Pushing the curtain back and revealing the red silk room, he saw his eldest brother at a desk, looking over a long piece of paper. Lucifer doesn’t even look up, as Balthazar nears, instead pulling out a bottle from under the desk and sliding it over to Balthazar.

After sitting down in the cushioned seats in front of the desk, Balthazar uncorks the bottle and sniffs at the strong smell, definitely liquor. Taking a swig and placing the bottle down,  Balthazar leans back, staring at his brother. “It’s good to see you.” He states, his voice sounding differently from his time with the humans, a certain twinge to it he couldn’t put a finger on.

Lucifer lets a smile slip onto his emotionless face as he finishes whatever he’s working on, and places the paper away. He too leans back, taking the bottle with him as he stares his brother down, “You would like them.” He muses, stretching slightly and cracking his neck in the process.

Balthazar nods, allowing himself a small smile as well, “Well yeah, you got to blend in with them when you’re hiding from the Heavenly host.”

Lucifer nods, rubbing his chin absentmindedly before speaking up, his voice sounding slightly business like, “You still have the artifacts in your possession, correct?”

Balthazar nods, pulling out every object he had gotten his hands on out of his jacket, and placing them in front of Lucifer. Lucifer doesn’t touch them, just simply stares, his grace flaring slightly at the objects as if they recognize him, which they probably do; power knows power.

After a brief once over of the objects, Lucifer stands up, and walks over to the other cushion close to Balthazar, bring the bottle with him. Sitting down, Lucifer takes another drink before passing the bottle and sending his brother a small, devious smile. “So, brother, do tell what escapades you had with these hairless apes.”

For the next two hours they talk, talking about the fact humans were already failing, and about how Balthazar wasn’t even considered out of his teen years of being an angel. It could have been the alcohol, but it made them laugh, their heads dropping back as they let their relief of finally being together shine. Lucifer might have caused the fall of a lot of angels, and he might have caused humans to sin, but he was one hell of a drinking buddy.

* * *

It was the next morning, after Balthazar leaves his tent, that he first sees Castiel. He’s still a child, but he has grown, and since hundreds of years have passed, he looks about eight years old, his hair a dark mop on his head and his eyes bright as ever. The only problem? His brother’s once flawless skin is no longer flawless, it looks like cracked ice at night, dark… black.

Maybe Balthazar had shown up just at the right time. Walking forward, Castiel recognizes him, and seems to light up before embracing him. “Balthazar!” He says happily, his voice still sounding childlike.

"Hello, Castiel." He gives his little brother one tight squeeze before placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. He pulls away, his hands clasped on his shoulders as he gives him a once over. So yes, Castiel’s grace isn’t as strong as it once was, even reflecting on his face, but he was alive and appeared to be largely unharmed, "It’s good to see you." Balthazar comments, an uncontrollable smile sneaking onto his lips.

It seems like Castiel has the same problem as he smiles as well, hugging Balthazar once more. “Same.” He states quietly against the folds of Balthazar’s clothing. They stand like that for a while, just simply enjoying the feel of having another angel present, before Castiel speaks up once more, “Are you staying?” This question is nearly muted completely, but Balthazar gets it and nods gently. Castiel pulls himself away, as if realizing that he can and Balthazar won’t disappear.

"I can assure you, I didn’t come here from the sights." He mused as they finally disconnected, and Castiel smiled once again, nodding. Looking around, Balthazar realized something and, slinging an arm around Castiel’s shoulders, he motioned a hand in front of them, "Hey Cassie, why don’t you show me around?"

Castiel doesn’t shrug him off but gives him a look, “Sure,” There’s a pause as they start to walk before Castiel speaks up again, “just don’t call me Cassie.”

Balthazar smirks, his brother instincts kicking in, “Sure thing, Cassie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Magician Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/76063879700/selling-to-the-highest-bidder)] [[Lucifer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75403510022/the-devil-finds-work-for-idle-hands-carnie-the)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)] 

**Author's Note:**

> [[Lucifer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75403510022/the-devil-finds-work-for-idle-hands-carnie-the)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)] 


End file.
